Compromise versus changing who you are

According to Webster's Dictionary a compromise is "a way of reaching agreement in which each person or group gives up something that was wanted in order to end an argument or dispute." In all relationships, friendships, families, virtually anything there does need to be compromise. It can't be one sided at all. There has to be a fine balance and it has to be known what the difference between compromise and changing yourself for someone is.

A compromise can be as simple as choosing a movie. This is more of a personal example of my own life, but I have NEVER liked Lord of the Rings or anything along that genre. In a previous relationship my boyfriend at the time was obsessed with LOTR. When the new Hobbit came out I bought him tickets and I decided I wanted to go with him, not because I was excited for it but I knew how much it meant to him. So I sat and watched the first movie and then went with him to the second that night. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't something I would watch on my own. That's a compromise, because I could sacrifice watching my girlie chick flicks for a night so I could go to something he wanted to see. That's not changing who I am. I never lied and said that I was in love with the movie, I never said they are my favorite to get his interest.

Changing who you are to appease someone is never a good thing. If you don't like football, let them know. Trust me you can't lie about your interests forever. I know I would prefer if someone was up front with me about something rather than try and lie through it to show common interests. If a guy told me they liked hockey and I went to a game with him or watched a game with him, and it turned out that he had no clue what was going on I would be more disappointed than flattered.

Compromises are good, make sure you do them in every aspect of your life. Life is all about balance and the relationships you come across need to be balanced as well. If you pick the movie one day let your friend pick the next. If you really want to do something remember to compromise and see if you can fit in what the other person may want to do as well. You have to give as much as you take, and you have to remember don't change who you are. There is a big difference between compromise and changing yourself to appease others.