I thought when I woke up things would be fine, sleep off my worries and stress and start a beautiful new day. I was still holding onto something though, what? Well I don't even know. I was overwhelmed, upset and had no idea why. I went to church for Easter service and was trying to find some answer in what was being said. I didn't find an answer, but I did find ease of mind just being in church.
I went back home, fell asleep hoping this time when I wake I will be in a better mood. No change.
After heading to Easter brunch at a friend's house I came to terms with things. I am truly scared, I am nervous even though I do like really him. He's new to having a serious relationship and he doesn't know right from wrong, but I've never been the one to tell a person what to do or what not to do. I don't want to be that girl to hold him back from doing everything in his life, but I also don't want to end up hurt. Every relationship is different, different likes, different tastes, different annoyances, different quirks, but in the end there is one thing in common: you care about him and he cares about you, that should be enough right?
New relationships are exciting and fun, but there comes a time when things do get serious and you do have to see things for what they are. You find the little things that make you tick, but you don't really want to tell them. The hardest part is being completely vulnerable. Telling a person everything that hurts, worries and scares you. It is like playing poker blind, and let me tell you I'm a terrible poker player to begin with.
I don't want to run away from something that could be the best thing to happen to me, but I don't want to get hurt either. But it is true the things you are scared of are usually the most worthwhile.
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